The big date is scheduled and your departure is imminent. As you consider your first few days and weeks in Israel, think about ways you can integrate these suggestions into your action plan to help support your family’s successful Aliyah.

1. Say yes to as many social opportunities as possible

Social integration is a significant driver of child development, and it’s certainly a big component of a successful Aliyah for children and adults alike. Even if your inclination is to stay home in pajamas, take advantage of opportunities to socialize instead. Join a committee, attend school meetings, participate in local events, and let your kids go out on a school night.

Encourage your kids to join the local youth group “Snif” (chapter); it is there that they’ll be exposed to opportunities to engage with their peers in a very different environment than they have at school. It might seem disorganized and it is likely to be under the supervision of teenagers, but it is worth it. The youth groups provide an inclusive experience that is a crucial part of the fabric of Israeli childhood.

It is important to remember that the only way for people to welcome you is if they know you exist; your job is to introduce yourself to the people around you, and to take advantage of the social opportunities that are available to you!

2. Make space for negative feelings

Making Aliyah is hard. While it’s not helpful to harp on the challenges of a big life change, it’s important to validate your child’s feelings (and your own) and accept them as reality. Allow your children to voice their frustrations. Help them find words and language that accurately describe their disappointments and fears, being as specific as possible. The words they choose and ascribe to their feelings make a big difference! Consider the difference between “Everything here is awful”  and “I don’t like that I don’t understand the teacher yet.” You may even want to share your own negative feelings with them when appropriate. Remind them (and yourself) that most things are hard in the beginning and that it takes work, effort and patience, but it will get easier with each day that passes.

3. Recognize that regular adolescent/child development challenges still exist

Raising kids anywhere has its challenges ;those challenges don’t disappear when you make Aliyah. Sometimes they can even be magnified by the move.  Remember not to “blame” Aliyah for normative bumps in the parenting and family road and to pay attention to your child’s needs in the same way you did before moving to Israel.

 

4. Don’t be afraid to ask, embrace your Oleh identity

Vulnerability is hard for many people but it’s the unifying reality of Olim. Rather than shying away from it, embrace your New Oleh identity Ask as many people as many questions as you need to feel comfortable. Ask someone in the supermarket to explain a product you don’t understand. Ask the cable company to explain the package options as many times as you need. Asking the right questions and ensuring you don’t feel confused or frustrated will empower you and help you make the best decisions for your family.

5. Find out what’s cool and get it

If you are a parent that is naturally disinclined to giving in to each new fad that comes your child’s way, see if you can put that inclination to the side for a brief window. Your child wants to fit in and feel normal. Chances are the fads won’t cost too much and it might just be worth it to encourage your child’s social integration. Elementary school children often play with a “goomi,” a long elastic loop like Chinese Jump rope, and soccer cards- yes, soccer instead of baseball. Moving to Israel will not save you from Fidget Spinners, either. But get the goomi, the cards, the spinners, the popular backpack or water bottle. Small-ticket items can have a social value that runs much higher than their price tags.