“Are you really sure you want to do this?”
“Absolutely not.”
“It is not too late you know…I could turn the car around and we can go unpack your suitcase…”
“Absolutely not.”

That was the conversation I had with my mother on our way to the airport on October 16, 2012 where, three hours later, I took a Nefesh B’Nefesh group flight with 68 other people who were picking up their lives along with their whittled down piles of belongings to fulfill a dream and make Aliyah.

Aliyah was a new dream for me. I had not grown up in a Zionist home or with any meaningful Israel connection to speak of. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I grew up in a home where anti-Zionist ideas were often touted and those moving to Israel were looked down upon for betraying our values.

As I grew older I began to notice that I never quite fit in to the culture I was born into. I always felt a little different and a little out of place. I had questions that went unanswered and I held a lot of confusion when it came to our cultural practices. I needed a fresh start, somewhere I could explore and learn and find my own place in the world- and more importantly- find and understand my own Jewish identity. I did the unheard of; I left my community and flew to Israel in search of something new.

For two years I studied and explored Israel. From top to bottom, from East to West, I toured the country, sampled the different sites, foods and cultures Israel had to offer. The holidays were different, the language was certainly different, and the overall atmosphere was something I had never experienced before. The lessons of my anti-Zionist childhood faded away as I saw the country in real time from a completely different perspective.

I learned about the history of Israel, from the formation of a nation to the foundation of a Jewish state. I learned about Zionism and what it truly meant to be a supporter and builder of a fledgling country. I learned about the sacrifice of the pioneers who paved the way for the Start-Up Nation and of the leadership who fought tirelessly to make a 2000 year old dream become reality. I fell in love with a land, a people and an energy that still works tirelessly to thrive and prosper.

When it came time for me to go back to the US, I was heartbroken. Israel, a multi-cultural, multi-faceted country where expressing your opinion about everything and anything whether it is your business or not – had become my home. I found a place where I felt comfortable, where I was embraced by strangers on the street as “Achoti,” (my sister). I found a place where every kind of Jew had a place to be and people who would invite you for Shabbat on Friday afternoon at the grocery store just because “you have such a nice face, and I have such a nice son.”

It would be two years filled with frequent visits before I would return on my Aliyah flight and become an official citizen of the State of Israel. Two years of planning and deciding where my place in Israeli society would be. It was important to me to come prepared- mentally, financially and logistically. I researched communities, applied to Universities and worked around the clock to save money for the transition.

Now, looking back four years later, when people ask me what the secret was to making my Aliyah transition smooth and successful, I always credit what I call the “3 P’s”- planning, patience and perseverence.

Planning

The pre-Aliyah planning phase was extremely important for me. I had some pretty big decisions to make as I had already started university in the US and I would most likely need to restart my entire degree if I moved.

As the old adage goes, knowledge is power. Careful research and some basic calculations showed me that even with starting my degree over from the beginning, by taking advantage of my Aliyah benefit for a subsidized degree in Israel I would save nearly $70,000 on my education alone (numbers may vary!). Once I added in the cost of room and board, I had a general idea of what kind of budget I would need to make it work in my first year. With that knowledge in hand, I started filling out application for different degree programs and began the hunt for an apartment and roommates.

Having concrete plans makes the process easier and far less scary. Knowing what to expect when you arrive and knowing how you will spend your days helps to relieve some of that feeling of heading into the unknown.

Patience

Having patience during the Aliyah process – for yourself and for others – is key. Getting answers from programs you apply to takes time. Finding the right living situation takes time. Filling out all the necessary paper work takes time. It is important to have the right balance of determination and patience.
Exercising your patience in the early phases of your Aliyah planning will only help you in the post Aliyah phase as well!

Perseverance

Aliyah is a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs. Starting over in a new country comes with its own set of difficulties. Learning a new language, adapting to a new culture, making new friends and learning to thrive without the same support system you had before is not simple- but- with the right amount patience and willingness to ride the waves you can accomplish anything.

One of the biggest lessons I had to learn during my absorption process was to not be ashamed to ask for help. Be it help with scheduling a doctor’s appointment because I didn’t know how to say “I have the flu” in Hebrew, or asking for a fellow student to teach me how to navigate the internal University bureaucracy, it was important for me to overcome my pride and recognize that when people offer to help, it is a genuine offer.

Olim love to help other Olim. Israelis, despite their tough outer shell, are happy to lend a hand when they can. Rebuilding the support system you used to have can take some time but it is possible if you are willing to ask for the help you need.

Today when thinking back to that conversation I had in the car with my mother on the way to the airport I feel proud of everything I have accomplished since my Aliyah. I headed off to a country 6,000 miles away from the home I knew, nervous but excited for the adventure that lay ahead. The life and family I have built for myself in Israel have made this little country home and I am incredibly grateful that I did not take my mom up on her offer to turn that car around.

We look forward to seeing you there!