Nefesh BNefesh

by Romi Sussman

As a teacher in a school in Gush Etzion, I have the unique opportunity to see through the eyes of student Olim. They come into my English class during the first months with an overwhelming sense of relief. They are finally in a place where they understand the language, the material, and the activities. The rest of their day, however, is a maze of confusion, frustration, and anger. Many students report that they don't understand the basic structure of the day.

As adults, we know that they will eventually soak up the language and start to integrate into the system. That process, however, can be terribly challenging and frustrating to children that we hope will love Israel.

Here is a quick checklist of important "do's and don'ts" in the first year that may help you, as the parent, to ease your child’s transition.

Do share with your children that you are going through the process together. If you are in Ulpan, or are struggling with Hebrew, express this to your children and let them watch you working as well. It's helpful for them to see that you are also new and struggling.

Don't overpressure your children in the first year. Don't worry if they are struggling with geography, history, or other language-heavy classes. Help them to gain confidence in themselves by focusing on their successes during the year.

Do encourage and focus on only a few subject areas in the first year. Encourage them to work hard at Hebrew, limudei kodesh and math. These are areas where we focus the most attention and where we see skills that build on themselves.

Don't discourage your children from hanging out with English speakers. As long as they are also making an effort to integrate with Israeli children, there is nothing wrong with allowing them this security blanket.

Finally, do be a "nice nudnik." Call the homeroom teacher as often as you need. Get their cell phone number. Don't feel that this is impolite or aggressive - it's assertive and normal for Israelis.You need to take care of yourself and your family; if checking in with the teacher often helps you to do this, then it is well within your rights to do so.

Continue to stay as positive and encouraging with your children as you can. There will certainly be highs and lows throughout the first year.Encourage your children along the way and point out the amazing progress that they are making.They will, hopefully, look back at this time some day in awe as they see how far they’ve come.

Good luck!